Aniseed Balls

We often hear Muslims of both sexes parroting that Muslim women are treated equally, and I have commented before about how this is at odds with much of what we see. It really does appear to be a veneer of disingenuous obfuscation. But sometimes the façade slips, and we see the true prejudices unmasked and undiluted. Last month the Hudson Islamic Centre in upstate New York had a high-profile ground breaking ceremony for a new mosque after years of praying in a basement. Local dignitaries were invited, speeches made, and the project unveiled. The entire community of mostly first-generation Bangladeshis had been invited. Unless you were female. One of the local Muslim women, Jabin Ahmed Ruhii, was frustrated enough to expose the farcical situation on social media, and a storm blew up. The president of the Islamic Centre, Abdul Hannan, said that no discrimination is allowed in their mosque or religious ceremonies. Are you ready for what he said next? He explained with no hint of em...

After the attack on Muslims in London, I must say something. Clearly Islam is not incidental to the Islamic extremism of the perpetrators. It is not like blaming coffee because they all imbibed it. The jihadists make it explicit that they act in the name of Allah. They almost always invoke Allah’s name at the scene of the mass murder. They give their life in the professed conviction that they will be rewarded for doing Allah’s will. Nobody can be left in any doubt that the atrocities are carried out by Muslims in the name of Islam against everything the culprits regard as un-Islamic, which includes Christianity, Western culture, people in the wrong Islamic denomination, and those in the right denomination who aren’t Islamic enough. The all-consuming question must be whether their religion is to blame for these crimes against humanity. I’m no expert on the socio-political backdrop for Islamic grievances, but I’m prepared to accept that Muslims have suffered much injustice in l...

A few years ago we got a new kitchen. (Use Google if you don’t understand how that is possible.) We knocked the old one through to a room we hardly used, and spent more than many people’s yearly salary having everything gutted and replaced. Despite the additional space, we ended up with less storage than we started with. And so ensued a year of not knowing where anything was, because Barbara would frequently reorganize everything she hadn’t been forced to throw away, in an attempt to fit it in. Last year we decided to replace our bedroom carpet. Apparently, it wasn’t worth doing it without having the cupboards replaced, the walls re-plastered and redecorated, the bed replaced, the chests of drawers replaced, the curtains replaced, and doing much the same in another room as well. As before, it took a whole year and we ended up with less storage than we started with. And as before, there then ensued a prolonged period of not knowing where anything was, because Barbara frequently re...

Imagine for a moment, if I could really prove that Islam was completely and utterly baseless. That the Koran is a deceitful fabrication. That Islamic beliefs are nothing more than misapplied ancient superstitions. That cultural adherence is the primary basis for many evil traditional social practices. That individual adherence damages one’s capacity for rational thought, and is a risk factor for developing hatred and extremism. That Allah is an absolute fiction corresponding to nothing that has ever existed. And suppose I could prove these things with an overwhelming level of certainty akin to Pythagoras’ Theorem. And suppose I could demonstrate it all so convincingly that you acquire an inner instinctive feeling for its veracity akin to our instinctive feeling for the force of gravity. In the face of all that, do you think Muslims would renounce their faith? Just in case you can’t see where I’m going with this, the answer is no. It would affect practically no one. Their religion has...

The word declutter  is an unnecessary chimera, formed with unsavoury etymological coarseness, but the idea it expresses has merit. I’ve started in a small way in the study, discarding items I will never need like cardboard boxes saved up for a rainy day, and even, horror of horrors, books. And, with no little trepidation, I’ve taken down my “I am normal” notice. My rational self says it wasn’t responsible for psychological equilibrium. But was it? I thought it had artistic merit; the harsh beauty of the plain brown wrapping paper, the meticulously chosen typeface representing the inherently ambiguous nature of human sanity. Could these qualities have elicited a feeling of well-being to counterbalance the inner demon? Or acted as guiding star and constant reminder to maintain the semblance of normality? Obviously I removed the little bits of Scotch tape in case they weren’t recyclable and folded the paper neatly so that it didn’t take up too much space in the green bin. So ...

Two activities I have been very involved with at different times have both in recent years been suggested as additions to the Olympic Games. With the 2016 Games upon us I have my four yearly angst over the nonsensical collection of events contested. What should the Olympics consist of? Let’s get one thing out of the way. I am not suggesting we go back to Corinthian amateurism. We are way beyond that – there are only two sports left where professionals are ineligible, and in the modern era we want to see the best competitors contesting at the highest level. So what should be included? First and foremost are events that demonstrate objective individual athletic achievement in a manifestly natural discipline: running faster, jumping further, leaping higher, throwing further. What about the specific varieties of these? Racing over 100m, 200m, 400m, 800m, 1500m etc makes sense, especially when you know that individual athletes are never the best over a wide range of these. What a...

Communal childishness As young children we say “moo-moo” and “tummy” and are enthralled by bright colours and lights. But some people never grow up: they continue to say “tummy” well into adulthood and never lose their fascination with bright lights. They marvel at Catherine wheels like a three year old. They festoon their mid-winter houses with tacky decorations in a misguided sense of tradition, slavishly following cultural conventions in a self-conscious act of communal childishness. This is a slippery slope: one minute you are a normal intelligent adult, the next you are watching Strictly Come Dancing . Shadwell Library is a testament to community spirit. The council would have closed it but for the concerted determination of many villagers and for the continuing effort of many more volunteers running the library and maintaining the building. It remains as vibrant book lender, cultural centre and delightful Grade II Listed Building in steadfast opposition to the philistines....